Ben has been a valued member of Care for the Carers since 2022. Over the years, he has accessed our services as and when he has felt he needs to, reflecting the often-unpredictable nature of the caring role. He continues to be actively involved in our mental health project, where his insights and openness have been invaluable to the group. Ben, now in his 30s, is a dedicated carer for his partner, who lives with ongoing mental ill health. He has supported her through times of crisis and has a vital part in helping her to move into a more stable period of recovery and even helping her to return to work.
As a working-age carer, Ben has faced a complex array of challenges that many in his position will recognise. Balancing the demands of full-time employment with the emotional and practical responsibilities of being a carer can be both exhausting and at times isolating. Carers like Ben are often caught between the expectations of their workplace and the demands of home life. Despite these pressures, Ben has always shown resilience, compassion, and a willingness to share his experiences, helping to break the silence that so often surrounds male carers.
It’s important to acknowledge that more than a quarter of male carers in employment choose not to disclose their caring role to others. This may be due to a range of reasons, including societal expectations around masculinity and the idea that men are not open. Traits such as stoicism and the desire to appear strong can act as barriers to seeking help or even acknowledging the emotional toll of caring. That’s why the participation of men like Ben in our support groups is so meaningful.
Ben has spoken openly about his experiences with loneliness and social isolation, emotions that many carers face but often struggle to articulate. Despite being a busy professional, Ben has highlighted the nuanced difference between being socially connected and at times experiencing loneliness, which is unfortunately a reality for many carers. In response, Ben made the leap, and got a dog, which has brought companionship and joy into his daily life as well as another connection for both him and his partner. While we wouldn’t suggest that a pet is the solution for everyone, Ben’s story underscores the importance of finding personal ways to build connection and emotional resilience.
There are many paths to becoming part of a supportive community, and joining a Care for the Carers group is one of them. As Ben himself puts it:
“Being involved with Care for the Carers means having a protective layer added to the overwhelming complexities that come with being an unpaid carer. They have been available to me for advice, support, education, and occasionally some much-needed distraction from something I never expected to happen. I may not always need them, but they’ve never failed to be there when I do.”
Ben’s journey reminds us of the vital importance of community, support, and understanding, especially for those who so often put the needs of others ahead of their own.
If you are looking after someone who couldn’t manage without your help, and would like support or to connect with other carers, please contact us.
